‘I (down-)load, therefore I am.’

He made me think there…
So easily I fall for that kind of statement. In these past few weeks I often felt bad and as a result acted badly and I only afterwards realized why. I was defining myself by how productive and efficient I was, or by how I was acting towards others or …
Which one is yours?

I think, therefore I am.
I achieve something, therefore I am.
I feel happy, therefore I am.
I am accepted or even praised by others, therefore I am.
I have everything under control, therefore Iam.
I am good, therefore Iam.
I love, therefore I am.
….

We live in a world that constantly tells us lies about by what we should define ourselves or what determines who we are. And it’s not a big surprise that we often fall for that living in a world that works according to those lies.
But the truth is much more beautiful:
I am loved by the great I AM (Ex 3:14), therefore I am. I am because He is. And because He is faithful in this love.
(I’d even go as far as ‘without Him I am not – I am already dead’)

And to this love, God’s love, there’s no condition. He is the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8). And he will be there, waiting for me all my life.
Am I ready to accept this?
Am I ready to start realizing that I am loved, that my worth is not determined by myself?
Am I ready to start not depending on myself?
Am I ready to start being dependant on my creator, and Him only?
Am I ready to have life and have it abundantly?

I don’t want to mix up cause and effect any longer. I need to be filled with truth. I want to know Him and the freedom that is in Him more – every day.

Jesus says: ‘If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.’

And just a few verses before that (in context), Jesus says:
‘I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.’

But how does this affect my relationship to Jesus? Is it just evil? Is it beneficial? Is it something grey in between? Because I had a problem with gaming that led even to addictive behaviour this is something I need to deal with. (And maybe you do, as well)

Now Paul says in the New Testament ‘So whatever you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God’ (1 Cor 10:31). And this verse is in the context of things that hinder people from coming to God but don’t have to (namely eating meat that was sacrificed to idols).
Now for me it’s quite hard to be gaming in a way that glorifies God because of my past with gaming. For me, the tendency would go towards not beneficial. Yet I believe it still is possible to be gaming in way that brings glory to God. But where’s there a border? When does gaming obsess and control me, keep me away from God?
And now this is not any longer limited to StarCraft or gaming. It’s a point where we all need to be honest with ourselves because nearly everything has the potential of driving us towards or away from God (yes, even preaching or singing worship songs, if done in a not beneficial way).

So I got to ask myself: ‘Where’s my weakness?’, ‘Where’s my thing that drives me away?’ or likewise ‘Where’s the thing that drives me towards God?’

Matrix. Most people will know this movie that was made in 1999. It was in some ways a milestone in the history of movies with certain techniques being used for the first time. And it is quite unique, really. The way scenes and techniques interact and benefit the plot and the ideas of the movie is almost artistic. But what I want to talk about in this post and other posts to come is the plot and the basic idea behind the Matrix and how it can benefit me in my relationship to Jesus.

I know that you could see lots of parallels to other belief systems or world religions – and this indeed is what was the intention of the directors Andy and Larry Wachowski. But ever since I started thinking about the Matrix in gospel terms, it made more and more sense and stayed in line with biblical truth, although there’s is one huge theme that isn’t addressed very clearly (and yet it is there). I am going to write about that at a later point in time.

So where to start? I saw quite a few concepts of how to interpret the Matrix that say ‘Morpheos is God, Neo is Jesus and Trinity is the holy Spirit’. This is NOT the way I’m going to look at things because I think there is a much deeper truth behind the whole concept of the Matrix. Yes, Neo’s death and resurrection are of fundamental importance but it doesn’t make sense to parallel it to Jesus’ death and resurrection on Golgatha and in this way make Neo the same as Jesus in the movie.

So who is Neo? Neo is you and me. Neo is every man and woman, everyone living on this planet. And Neo is about to be set free. From what? From the Matrix, from ‘the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth’ (Morpheos). The Matrix is all ‘around us’ and we do live in it (although some of us are not from it). It’s the thing that keeps us from being who we really are. And if we are unaware, we don’t even notice it.
Note that it’s not some crazy machines we ourselves created that hold us hostage but ‘the god of this world’ , in one word Satan.
‘The God of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God’
2 Corinthians 4:4
(There’s many bible verses that describe Satan as god or ruler or prince of this world, I’m gonna try and collect them at some point.)

Fact is that we don’t need to enter the Matrix, we are in there already !!!

So the next questions would be: How do we become aware of this fact? Is there anything that indicates this, any proof for what I just wrote?

You also find that video here.  Great stuff !!

After a lot of idling during the first week I got myself some more things to do and attend on a regular basis, and today after 12 hours of lessons I feel really good indeed. I do like studying (and I hope I keep doing so). But not only that. Cooking (and deciding what to, a lot of experience to gather still…), hanging out with flatmates, getting orientation in a new city, meeting and getting to know people from all over the place (again !!), learning about their take or world-view, seeing what’s on and figuring out how to make everything work and fit is fun – so far. Oh, and being responsible for my own decisions

It is yet to be seen if I got myself to much to do as an overreaction to the first week of idling. So there’s one thing I am learning to do constantly right now: try and error – and not being afraid of making mistakes or making the ‘suboptimal’ decision. Because my God is able to use my weakness (2 Cor 12:9). I need to seek Him in everything I do, because apart from Him I can do nothing (John 15:5). And he promised that we shall find Him when (not if) we seek Him with all our heart (Jeremiah 29:13).

And that (seeking with all my heart) is not easier here, because here there’s not as many people to check on me. Gotta fight the ‘weaker self’ and learn discipline.

Inzwischen bin ich nach einer verlängerten Zeit in England (9Monate) wieder in Deutschland. Die Zeit in England war so gewinnbringen, ich kann es mal wieder nicht fassen, was man alles in einem Jahr lernen und erleben kann. So viel Freude, Stress, Gemeinschaft, Sorgen, Ermutigung, Zweifel .. und alles an Gottes Seite. Bin ihm soo dankbar.

Nun studiere ich hier in Bremen Umwelttechnik und werde auch mal Gedanken zu Studieninhalten, Eindrücken aus Bremen und dem Studentenleben im Allgemeinen schreiben.

Warum ich ausgerechnet in Bremen studiere? Das frage ich mich manchmal selbst…

Hatte die Blog-Sache irgendwann im Februar aufgegeben, jetzt habe ich aber wieder Lust dazu (die Zeit nimmt man sich ja sowieso) und hoffe, dass es dieses mal länger regelmäßig funktioniert. Aber wenn nicht dann eben nicht…                Aber jetzt heißt es erst mal: auf ein Neues !!

Hello again !!

After an unbelievably long break here we go again.

I am back in Germany after an extended time (9 months) in England, that was full of blessings, laughter, joy, distress, learning and the presence of God. I am soo thankful that He had me have that time.

Right now I am studying environmental engineering and sciences in Bremen, all the way up in the North of Germany. So I’ll also write about thougths on the course of study and some of its contents, impressions from city life in Bremen and, of course, how it is like to be a student.

Maybe I’ll keep it up longer this time, but maybe not. We will see…

Nachdem in seiner Heimatgemeinde und Umgebung Fälle von plötzlich erscheinenden Goldzähnen und Goldstaub aufgetreten sind, beschließt der Filmer und „Regiesseur“ des Films, sich näher mit dem ganzen Thema zu beschäftigen. Das Ergebnis ist besagter Film: „The Finger of God“. Der Film zeigt wie in verschiedenen Gemeinden in den USA, durch die Arbeit von Missionaren in Afrika und China oder Bulgarien (ja, auch Europa !!) die verschiedensten Wunder passieren – durch Gebet aber auch „einfach so“. Studenten treffen sich, um nach Gebet und auf Gott hören (spezielle Plätze oder Personen, die Hilfe brauchen) zusammen loszuziehen, um Menschen zu helfen. Missionare heilen Menschen, um Gottes Macht zu zeigen. Ob diese Wunder alle tatsächlich passiert sind, kann ich nicht beurteilen, ich war nicht dabei. Aber viele Interviews und Kommentare vermitteln eine klare Message: es geht nicht um die Wunder, es geht darum den Menschen draußen in der Welt zu zeigen, dass es einen Gott gibt – und dass er sie liebt !! Ohne diesen Zusammenhang ist jedes Wunder wertlos.

Ich persönlich habe die Möglichkeit von Wundern (speziell Heilung) nie für mich als Möglichkeit, Gottes Liebe weiterzugeben, in Betracht gezogen….

Aber warum eigentlich nicht?

Do people see Jesus in me?
Do people see Jesus in you?
All people just want to be free,
Most people don’t know what to do.

What difference does Jesus make?
Everyone is searching for hope
In the church so many are fake
But in the world no one can cope.

In the past things were not the same
„They gave to anyone who had need.“
What happ’ned? It’s all such a shame,
There are so many that won’t be freed.

We need a radical lifestyle
Or we might as well go home right now,
If we don’t go the extra mile!
We’ll need to find a way somehow.

Do people see Jesus in me?
Do people see Jesus in you?
All people just want to be free,
Most people don’t know what to do.

An besagtem Wochenende hatten wir unser sogenanntes „Reise-Wochenende“. Für mich ging es wie für die meisten nach Edinburgh – mit dem eigenen Auto!

Unterwegs haben wir einen kleinen Abstecher Richtung Hadrianswall gemacht. Ist wirklich beeindruckend – und man eine Wahnsinnssicht auf die Landschaft !!

Edinburgh selbst hat wunderschöne alte Gebäude und viele Parks – aber nur wenige und teure Parkplätze !!
Dorthin mit dem Auto zu fahren ist keine gute Idee, außer man übernachtet in einer Herberge mit Privatparkplatz (dahin habe ich nach einer Nacht dann auch gewechselt).
Natürlich war auch über Halloween viel los, viele kostümierte Leute und an jeder Ecke „Grusel-Touren“,
die sich mit Mordgeschichten und den Katakomben von Edinburgh beschäftigen. Außerdem waren die letzten Tage des „Storyteller-Festival“, aber davon hat man nicht übermäßig viel gesehen.

Edinburgh Castle war ein Höhepunkt (Bilder folgen hoffentlich bald), außerdem lohnt sich das „Scottish National Museum“ !!

Hatte eine interessante begegnung mit einem New Yorker,“Jimmy“, der im Hostel im gleichen Raum wie ich geschlafen hat. Er war nach 3 Monaten Reisen durch Europa schon fast wieder auf dem Heimweg. Ich glaube ich könnte das nie in dem Stil durchziehen: ankommen, nach einer Herberge suchen, immer unsicher, was bzw. wo man in ein paar Tagen ist.

Nach einer Nacht in einem Hostel bin ich dann in ein Bed & Breakfast etwas weiter außerhalb umgezogen. Ich frage mich im Nachhinein, ob das ein Fehler war, weil ich damit dem Verlangen nach Komfort nachgegeben habe, quasi wieder in meine „comfort zone“ zurückgegangen bin. Aber wie kann mich Gott jemals benutzen, wenn ich bei jedem Widerstand ausweiche, mir etwas bequemeres suche?

Noch ein Gedanke aus derselben Predigt:

Wie frage ich nach Gottes Wille?

Frage ich: „Gott, was willst du dass ich tue?“

oder: „Was möchtest Du in meinem Leben tun, was kannst nur Du in meinem Leben tun?“

mit anderen Worten: Bin ich im Zentrum – oder ist es Jesus?